Dear Barack Obama,
I’d really rather you were…you know…running the country, rather than auctioning yourself off to have dinner with voters for $5 or more.
First of all, I hear we’re in kind of a bummer of a situation with this whole economy / Republicans refusing to let the government run kind of thing?
Second, there’s just…something…kind of…not right about the whole thing…something about auctioning off…I can’t quite put my finger on it…
Oh yes. You shouldn’t let them make into you into a sex symbol available to the highest bidder like that! Last I heard, you were not a sexy fireman on Long Island and the Democratic Party was not the local firehouse raising money through a swimsuit/suspenders calendar.
I mean, not that these aren’t desperate times, but.
$5? Have they really beaten your self-esteem down that badly?
Yours, A Concerned Citizen,