Dear Failed Dinner

6 Apr

Dear Failed Dinner,

On Monday night I failed at making dinner. I had a recipe. I followed the recipe. I can’t explain it. I’m pretty good at following instructions– scratch that, it’s one of my secret ninja skills, you should have seen me go in elementary school– and so I just don’t know.

Instead of a nice, golden, toasted top and bubbling chard gratin, I ended up with sawdust and wilty greens. I ate frozen beef tamales from Trader Joe’s instead.

They were good. But it was stupid.

Someone asked me what went wrong, and I couldn’t tell him. Then he asked why I have so much analysis pertaining to my relationships and none at all having to do with why my dinner failed. This is a matter I am now giving serious consideration to.

In the meantime, I hate chard. We’re broken up, and I do not wish him happiness, and I sought solace last night with roasted lemon creme fraiche chicken and it was SO GOOD. YOU HEAR THAT, CHARD? YEAH.

You’re probably feeling super bitter right now. Hell, you’re green with envy. Not my fault you wilt with pressure (cooking).

…You can go boil your stem.




One Response to “Dear Failed Dinner”

  1. Brendan Cavalier 6 April 2011 at 2:48 pm #

    Chard is tough … pun intended.

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