Dear School

17 Nov

This is very scientific.

Dear School,

You suck. I made this very mathemetical representation of the specific time-space continuum that is a semester in order to show the exact magnitude of how much you suck.  I am now in that little corner of paralysis where the line transitions from the technical phase of  “oh crap…” to the final evolutionary stage of “hell.”

I thought about redrawing this so it’s more clear and actually readable and such.  But I don’t have time.  Because of school.

So. The y axis is labeled “difficulty.”  The x axis is labeled “time (semester).”

The graph starts at “hard but OK.”  This is primarily due to vestiges of summer, an intense longing  for a return to not being in school, and the crippling inability to do anything efficiently.

It then goes to “hey look at me! no hands!”  This is when you have a lot of reading to do, but no real “work.”  And you realize that reading isn’t that hard.  And that you really only have to show up someplace for a couple of hours two days a week, and maybe that is manageable.  You remember how to wear pants.  Plus fall TV will start soon, and that makes you happy.

Then we have “oh crap…”  This would be when, on a space shuttle, the ignition jams and the pilot starts frantically punching at buttons and a red light blinks and the loudspeakers go WOOPdeWOOPdeWOOP YOU’RE ALL GOING TO DIE.

The last four weeks of the semester are “hell.”  No explanation necessary.  We understand that the spiraling rocketship of a line is going to turn around, crash and burn in a fiery implosion of finals, typos, and tears, right?

Have a nice day.



4 Responses to “Dear School”

  1. Sam 17 November 2010 at 9:21 am #

    The wearing of pants is one that still escapes me from time to time. The benefits and drawbacks to living in a hotel, I suppose.

  2. aaron a. abubo 17 November 2010 at 9:36 am #

    I like the way the ascent into hell coincides with a slight journey back in time.

  3. Margaret Michelle 17 November 2010 at 9:40 am #

    I’m so glad you noticed that! Totally intentional.

  4. Alex 17 November 2010 at 5:19 pm #

    I remember this well and visualize it often. I’m in oh crap phase!

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