Dear Leftovers (Revisited)

14 Nov

Dear Leftovers (Revisited),

You may remember when I said you sucked and I hated you and I wanted you to die a horrible death.


So it turns out that when I have to feed myself all the time, I hate you a little less.  All the time!  Seven days a week!  SEVEN DAYS A WEEK.  I don’t even get ONE OFF.  WHYYYYYYYYYY.

Ok, yeah, I could eat out, and sometimes (often) (a lot) (regularly) (can we just move on?) I do, but that still requires making choices.

Making choices sucks.

When I was a kid, I was the queen of making choices.  If you’d been like, “Red shoes or blue shoes?” I would have been like, “Red shoes.” BAM. Decision MADE.

Now it is harder.  Possibly because shoes come in a lot more colors than they did when I was a kid. I am not that old.  Maybe it has to do with computers.  Computers have changed a lot since I was a kid.  People don’t even bother to turn them off nowadays.  Are you kidding me?  In grade school, you totally had to leave five minutes at the end of computer class to turn your computer off.  Probably so they didn’t explode or eat our brains during recess.

Where was I? Oh yes: leftovers.  So it turns out, actually, that I eat leftovers quite often, and am really pleased-as-punch to be doing it.  I didn’t cook today and yet I’m still eating.

It’s kind of a little miracle, come to think of it.

So, leftovers, I apologize for my earlier harsh words, and it’s cool if you stick around, and actually, if you could learn to replenish yourselves at night while I sleep, but with some variety thrown in and maybe find a way to be fresh and not require heating up because my microwave went to see the big guy in the sky (dumpster) (actually, I hope there isn’t a big guy in the dumpster)….

…I think I just want a personal chef.



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