Dear Guys

3 Nov

Dear Guys,

What have your girlfriends been telling you about your clothes?  Hmmm?  Yeah.  You should listen.  You know why?

When you dress well, we get confused and then we want to make out with you on public transportation.

And as the article points out, there is a middle ground between your favorite ratty t-shirt with cargo pants and the perfect suit.  It’s called jeans that fit right with cool shoes and a (lady)killer jacket.

Here’s the thing: we read clothes as code— for your age, profession, success, sexuality, sense of self, ability to tie your own shoes and leave the house in the morning.  If you dress well… well, you just might confuse the social boundaries and find yourself in a whole new pond of fish.  The fisherwoman might think you’re a marlin when really you’re a guppy.  A shark when you’re a platypus.  A rare exotic catfish when you’re a bottomdweller.  Or a salmon.

I don’t really know how insulting I’m being right now, and I’m out of fish names.

My point is not that we should all be shallow (but we are), and we do rely on external signs as we size people up in coffeeshops.  And why not look as good as you secretly are?

Sustainable fishing is never a bad thing (I have no idea what this metaphor is at this point), so why not wear shoes that make her hit on you / try to make out with you before she finds out you’re unemployed and living in your parents’ basement?

I probably shouldn’t be encouraging this, actually.  Cool shoes really are a potent force in the world.  We should all use them responsibly.

xoxoxoxo (literally),



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