Dear Seattle Start-Up Guy

4 Aug

Dear Seattle Start-Up Guy,

Hey.  How’s it going.  Nice facial hair.  I keep seeing you here at the Greenlake Zoka (like seriously, every single time I’m in here), so I figured it was time to drop you a line and get acquainted.  Plus you’re kind of cute.

But before we get too cozy, I’ve got some burning questions I’m hoping you can answer.  I like your style– those jeans fit you well, that t-shirt is retro cool maybe— but, well, I can’t tell if it’s vintage, new distressed, or out of your middle-school closet?  And if that’s the case, why can you afford designer jeans but not a new t-shirt?

You pulled up in an old station wagon.  So you’re environmental, making good use of a hand-me-down vehicle?  Or too cheap to buy a car?   Er…do you live with your grandmother?  If you buy her groceries, watch Jeopardy and then take off for the night, have your own space, we’re a go.  If you’re mooching off an old lady and the whole place smells like cats, tell me now.

And I see that you’re typing very quickly on your computer (Apple) and texting constantly on your phone (iPhone) (check, check).  But what I want to know is: are you filling out job applications, facebooking, and making mid-day drinking plans with your old high school buddies?  Or are you returning emails, designing apps, expanding your market, and scheduling lunch meetings?

See, you meet the checklist for that not-so-rare but still highly-desirable Seattle start-up guy— ambitious, flexible work hours and vacation time, interesting, full of ideas, up on the news, recycles, probably bicycles for that matter, quite possibly really into theme parties and always down to dance— maybe this is impolite to ask, but I’ve just got to know, quick yes or no before we proceed—

are you unemployed (good luck, see you around) or highly successful (my phone number’s on the back of this note)?




4 Responses to “Dear Seattle Start-Up Guy”

  1. Elizabeth 4 August 2010 at 6:07 pm #

    This. Is. Wonderful. Welcome back to America. Sounds like you had a wonderful summer.


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