Dear Celebrity Nicknames

18 Mar

Dear Celebrity Nicknames,

I’m talking to you, RobPat, K.Stew, but above all, SCARJO.

I don’t particularly like any of you (people), and so I find it amusing that your nicknames are so unflattering/downright ugly.

RobPat sounds like a hideous takeoff on the game of Patty Cake, with possibly some sort of inappropriate sexual advance incorporated (how….appropriate).

K.Stew sounds like some awful sort of brown-colored chunky soup (sorry K.Stew, I think you’re pretty and I like you in Adventureland, but your facial expressions and posture…well…).

And I’m not sure SCARJO needs any sort of detailing.

I don’t even want to get into the celebrity-couple portmanteaus because they make me gag. (Click on that link. It has a “make your moniker” machine.  That’s right.  Now you too can disgust yourselves and others by having a combined name with your loved one. You already have one? Never mind.  I don’t want to know.  KEEP IT TO YOURSELF).

Anyway, this odd, because I LOVE that these things exist.  It’s one of those odd facets of pop culture that shows how far from being real people we believe these celebrities to be.  Besides, this is the girl who at age eight, asked her parents, “What’s Bill doing now?” in reference to Bill Clinton’s State of the Union address.

What can I say.  Everybody’s a close friend.



3 Responses to “Dear Celebrity Nicknames”

  1. Karlyn 18 March 2010 at 8:30 pm #

    USA Today told me I would be Pollyn. I’m not impressed….

  2. margaret michelle 19 March 2010 at 8:49 am #

    ha. but it is! it is a combination of your names! usa today can’t help it if you combine to form an allergy-inducer.

  3. Karlyn 19 March 2010 at 5:42 pm #

    hahahaha….maybe that is more appropriate than I thought!

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