Dear Zac Efron in “17 Again” (guest letter)

23 Feb

dear zac efron in “17 AGAIN,”

OH-EM-GEE. you wear that shirt welllll, boy. even though the plaid of it is so indiscreetly target brand, i like your STYLE. you make a collarless black leather jacket look good, and that’s really saying something. plus– the way your bangs stay against your forehead no matter what speed you’re moving at–now THAT is sexy. how do you do it, zac efron? how do you make dance moves with a basketball look more than plausible? how do you pretend to be straight enough to make vanessa hudgens want to sleep with you? is she just a high school (musical) thing? even when you were hitting on that mom who is played by judd apatow’s wife when you were supposedly young matthew perry, i watched with one eye just to see your hairless chest flash in the fake hollywood yard set. thank goodness for your BOD, zac efron. now all you have to do is say yes to a role that’s not set in high school.

xoxo,
your secret overage admirer

(by special guest contributor Taylor Katz) (not so secret)

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