Dear Olympics

16 Feb

Dear Olympics,

I don’t feel particularly strongly about you.  I also don’t have cable right now, so that’s contributing a lot of apathy to my previous neutrality.

But here’s the thing: I was at my parent’s house this weekend, and my dad likes to watch golf, my mom likes to watch Masterpiece Theatre (yes, with an -re), and I like to watch trash when I have a tv available to me, and my aunt was visiting, and I guess I don’t really know what she likes to watch, so we watched the Olympics.  Obviously.

The thing is, I don’t care that much about who wins (go usa…i guess…unless somebody else has a cooler costume/uniform/haircut) watching the competitions is basically soothing.  You know, people doing things on the screen without an emotional narrative to stress me out.  Like watching golf. Ok, I get that the journey to the Olympics is emotional, and a lot of these athletes are people (oh wait, all of them are) so therefore have stories and lives and therefore drama, but for the most part, I don’t know any of that so it doesn’t effect me (ignorance is ignorance, what can I say).

So soothing.

OR. People are falling and you watching their dreams crushed before your eyes, perhaps permanently, because the games are only once every four years and a lot changes in that time and well, CRAP. DREAMS. GONE. Ciao, dreams. And then it is really stressful and I hide my eyes and cringe a lot and hope nobody gets hurt.

So— not soothing.

I’m glad we had this talk.

Also, Bob Costas, how old are you?

Anyway, basically I want everyone to have the best skate/run/match/game/race/performance/event of their lives so they can all feel good about themselves and maybe have a celebratory party at Pizza Hut afterward like we did at the end of the nerf soccer season.  Which would also allow a lot of the budget from the Olympics to go to homelessness because I bet Pizza Hut would do it for the free publicity. Unlike the $10 a head they charged our parents.

MM

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6 Responses to “Dear Olympics”

  1. skhor 16 February 2010 at 2:43 pm #

    I read this the first time and thought you were saying that we should give homeless people Pizza Hut and my first thought was “Well that’s not good, too much fat, they’ll all become diabetic.”

    Then I thought I should pay attention to diabetes small group and reading blogs written by friends after I get home. Or at the very least between class.

  2. Elizabeth http://obcookie.blogspot.com 16 February 2010 at 6:39 pm #

    I bet Olympiads have better lipid profiles than Pizza Hut eating diabetic homeless people. Their cholesterol must be really low. There’s nothing like curling to get back into shape.

    I think Bob Costas is actually a vampire that sleeps in a coffin and comes out every 2 years when the Olympic commissioner opens it and he flies out as a bat, goes straight to the hair club for men to get his head painted, and lands in the commentator’s chair.

    Even so, I love the Olympics. They make me hungry.

  3. kristendoc 17 February 2010 at 12:43 pm #

    I am obsessed with the Olympics. Which doesn’t surprise anyone, I’m sure.

    Besides the athletes triumphs and failings that I eat right up, I really like Mary Carillo’s human interest stories. Anyone else super interested in going to see polar bears now? How about her one on one with Patrick Chan. Now that’s news. GO USA!!!!!!

  4. Karlyn 19 February 2010 at 6:04 pm #

    Bob Costas has my birthday! …but he’s a bit older than me…

  5. margaret michelle 20 February 2010 at 11:40 am #

    hahaha this might be my favorite run of comments ever.

    karlyn, i think maybe you should email bob costas and invite him to your birthday party.

    sarah and elizabeth, you med students should get off diabetes and onto the pizza train.

    kristen, obviously the olympics are the height of human drama for you. along with american idol. also you will like my favorite commercial of the moment. of the young boy cup-stacking at record speeds. it’s for eggs. check it.

  6. kristendoc 27 February 2010 at 2:37 pm #

    I AM OBSESSED WITH THAT COMMERCIAL.

    Thank you for bringing it to my life.

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