Dear Weeds

28 Dec

Dear Weeds,

I honestly don’t know why I watch you. Okay, through seasons one and two, I was highly amused.

But after Silas cut a hole in the condom to try to keep his deaf girlfriend from going to an Ivy League school so she would stay home and have more sex with him, I lost patience. Every time Silas was on the screen I had to refrain myself from trying to beat him up. It wouldn’t have gone well. Given he’s a fictional character living in a tv.

Then I also got tired of Nancy Botwin’s ceaseless whining. Wah wah wah I sell pot and my life is hard and I got involved with all these other drug-type people and now they’re being mean to me. Wah.

So be the time season three started, I was pretty over it. I got all the way episode five (favorite part of disc one? when the scary heroin dealer named “U-Turn” tells Nancy to “Get a f***ing job” if she needs money). This means I had one episode left on disc one, which I had paid to rent from the video store (it’s this place where you go, pick out a movie, and get to take it home for a few days. I know, I know, ancient, get with the times, yada). I returned the disc without watching the last episode.

I had realized that I spent every single minute of every single episode hating every character every time they opened their lazy, whiny, substance-abusing suburban mouths. And I was still filled with rage every time Silas even walked through a room. This all seemed to rather defeat the purpose of watching a tv show. For fun.

Then again, a friend left season three at my sister’s house, and it’s just sitting there, and I never did watch that last episode…

Quick, somebody send me something else. Give me some wholesome bread to chew on (The Wire?) instead of this nasty marshmallow peep that’s going to make me feel sick to my stomach by the time I finish. No? No one?

Shoot. Here I go.


PS– Mary Louise, I get that you’re hot and all and I will be happy if I look like you at your age but WOMAN PUT SOME CLOTHES ON and quit biting your lip on the cover of every DVD. You are not K.Stew and even she wears both pants and sleeves sometimes.


One Response to “Dear Weeds”

  1. kristendoc 31 December 2009 at 12:22 pm #

    I still watch. Although the show is only going downhill… The only thing worse than season 4 is season 5.

    I just really like Elizabeth Perkins.

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