Dear Holiday Parking Lots

23 Dec

Dear Holiday Parking Lots,

Ooooh you make me CRAZY. Why can’t people maintain frontal lobe function during the holidays?

I think I saw Mother Theresa hitting the hood of someone’s car with her wimple this morning. She really wanted to park her heavenly scooter in that space.

Maybe I should ask for a novelty car horn for Christmas…maybe one that plays “Empire State of Mind” or “All I want for Christmas Is You” since those seem to be permanently stuck in everyone’s mind anyway. How mad would that make you, if you’d just gotten rid of one of those, and someone honked and their horn starting blaring the chorus?

Or maybe “Silent Night.” Ha. IRONY.

Be aggressive! Bee-e-ee a-g-g-r-e-s-s-i-v-e!

Oh wait. No, that’s not right…um….ah….

Be safe. That’s the one I’m looking for.




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