Dear Pelicans

5 Oct

Dear Pelicans,

You are fascinating birds. Your wingspan alone is enough to draw attention, and then you’ve got these crazy long beaks…and those beady little eyes…watching, watching the ocean for the slightest movement from high above, ready to swoop down at any moment in one clean parabola of killing mayhem.

My God, you are freaky close up.

What can you fit in those beaks? A football? A baby watermelon?


Perhaps you could perch somewhere that is not a few feet from my head.




2 Responses to “Dear Pelicans”

  1. GSavidge 5 October 2009 at 1:38 pm #

    Long time reader, first time commentator.
    I just wanted to say thank you! The wave of pelican on watermelon violence that has gripped this country has gone on long enough. Finally someone has the guts to stand up to these alligators with wings. Keep on speaking the truth, and if one poops on your car while you are at the beach it just means you are getting closer to the truth.

  2. margaret michelle 5 October 2009 at 3:46 pm #

    you are such a nerd.

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