Dear Man in Suit with Leaf Blower

25 Jun

Dear Man in Suit with Leaf Blower,

Yes. Hello. You are wearing a suit (minus the jacket, plus the tie) and you are carrying a leaf blower. Not in a casual, oh hey I happen to be transporting this leaf blower from point a to point b what’s up with you, kind of a way, but in a I INTEND TO USE THIS LEAF BLOWER TO ITS FULL EFFECT and to that purpose I have it SLUNG OVER MY SHOULDER with my finger on the trigger kind of a way.

In Pioneer Square in downtown Seattle, and through the throngs of unemployed men and across the street and down an alley.

Where are you going?  And for why?

And why dear god why with the LEAF BLOWER?  Not as in, why do you have it, but as in, why does it EXIST AND WHO CAN MAKE IT STOP?

I’ve tried to think of why you might need a leaf blower other than to blow leaves.  Something with dead bodies? A really big cockroach? An ex-wife? Something to do with baseball or football? But what will blowing on any of them do?

Are you trying to film a movie scene wherein a dog is hanging its head out the side of a car and its ears are getting blown back and its jowls are getting that crazy balloon-y effect that doesn’t look like it could possibly be fun and yet they all seem to enjoy it?

I am so confused.




One Response to “Dear Man in Suit with Leaf Blower”

  1. kristendoc 29 June 2009 at 11:46 am #

    you’re back. 😀

    I say let the well-dressed man enjoy his leaf blower. It could be much worse, he could be lugging around a chainsaw and sporting a freaky grin.
    I know what you’re thinking, freaky grins are silly. False. Freaky grins are freaky, and combined with chainsaws they are all kinds of terrifying.

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