Dear Craigslist

7 May

Dear Craigslist,

I appreciate the valuable service you provide for our community.  For the most part, you are organized very well, and I find you convenient and easy to use.

But– and this is a big but– man, there are some wackjobs out there!  People who want places to live for $1, somebody looking for a place to live with her “Outlawed breed” of dog– what is that, an actual wolf???  People airing all their personal problems– in the housing wanted section?  “My wife divorced me because I gambled all our money, can’t pay a deposit up front but will totally teach you how to roll ‘cigarettes’ in exchange for your couch I’m a 60 year old  man with a potbelly down past my personal areas and if you want to experiment I’m up for that too if you know what I mean oh and I play the drums hope that’s ok.”

To which I say– Thanks for letting me know, I’ll definitely be emailing you to see if something can work out.

If ever I didn’t wonder about the people in line next to me at the grocery store…

And yet– yet!– everyone I know really loves you, Craigslist, and I do too.  The success stories of roommates and furniture and vacation homes and pets!  The fairytales of help that appears after a fire has destroyed a wedding dress, or you know, when you really need a $15 ping pong table by this weekend.

But also, CL (may I call you that?  I feel like we’ve spent enough hours together to take this next step) the font of information you are!  I am overwhelmed.  The sheer volume of posts, the amazing number of participants.  The people willing to spend their precious, precious time flagging other people’s posts for no good reason and blocking them from being able to post innocuous ads about extra houseplants they’re willing to give away.  The lack or abundance of images!  The terrible, terrible pictures of corners that show you nothing about a house you are committing you, your furniture, and your houseplants to for nothing less than your first baseball mitt and half of your savings!  And still, when I need a place to go…right back into your wide, wide arms, that catch everything, but unfortunately that includes…

the crazies.  Let’s go back to the crazies.  I’m not talking about the personals, people, I’m talking about the ones who want to “sleep on your couch with my boyfriend while we go to a concert in Seattle– oh yes and I’m vegetarian so please throw out any meat in your house.”

And the spelling errors!   The spine-shuddering grammar!  Oh, I could go on.

But I spent hours today combing you looking for somebody to be my new best friend for $3 and lots of hugs, soooo…I’m going to sit back and let the emails roll in.  (I anonymized mine of course, I don’t want the nutters to know my interwebs info! Duh.) (I tried the jobs wanted section.  That seems good, right?)

Thanks, Craigslist!  Talk to you soon!




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