Dear Steve Martin

20 Nov

Dear Steve Martin,

First of all, in the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you that I grew up on Roxanne. Whenever I went to the video store with my friend Jane and her little brother (every Friday night from the ages of 10 to 14), we always got one of four movies. I seem to remember this being a requirement of theirs, that we pick our something we had already seen. The four that made the final, rotating cut were: Hook. Cool Runnings. The First Wives Club. And Roxanne. So you seen that it is an elite list that you made, and you very clearly have a special place in my heart, even if I didn’t know that wasn’t your real nose for a very long time.

I think it was this early faithfulness that led me to not only read, but watch Shopgirl. Though I did avoid the remake of the Pink Panther: to be fair, I was watching Inspector Clouseau before I ever met Cyrano.

At any rate, I just read Born Standing Up: A Comic’s Life and it’s so nice to meet you! I loved even your failed jokes. And I was reading the Large Print Edition, because I got it from the library, because there weren’t as many people in the line for that one, and, well, I just think you would have approved. Particularly when I asked the librarian, and she said, “Well, I like reading Large Print. I read a lot faster that way.”

I wish I could have seen you perform live, in a small dive, with all the magic tricks and props and punchlines leading nowhere. But I did just see you on The Daily Show. So I guess I can’t ask for much more than that.

Where do your jokes go when you throw them away?

Please send them to me. And if you’d like to watch Roxanne…I’m free tomorrow night.

Your fan,



2 Responses to “Dear Steve Martin”


  1. Dear Young Adult Novels « Dear Mr. Postman - 17 February 2009

    […] Pulitzer Prize winners (highly overrated, as are many so-called classics).  It’s like reading large-print edition books because your library has too many holds on regular print.  You turn pages all the […]

  2. Dear 3OH!3 “Don’t Trust Me” « Dear Mr. Postman - 5 August 2009

    […] this is OBSCENELY OFFENSIVE to women. “Shut your lips”? In the words of Steve Martin, Excuuuuuuuuuuse me? I mean, come on. To anyone who thinks the feminist movement is no longer […]

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